Friday a local woman was stabbed to death by her abusive ex-boyfriend. 26-year-old Jill Ulmer was attacked by her ex-boyfriend, 41-year-old Ricky Ray Anderson. She called 911; when the police arrived, they saw Anderson stabbing her and shot at him (but missed). They were able to arrest him but not after Ulmer suffered multiple fatal stab wounds.
It appears to be a fairly common scenario: women who try to leave abusive relationships are at the highest risk of being hurt. According to the Morning News, Ulmer had called the police before out of fear of Anderson; she recently had the locks changed on her apartment. She had a protective order against him, which he had violated just months before this attack.
As a child who witnessed domestic violence, and the nightmare of trying to escape it, I can understand Ulmer’s situation. She was doing her best, in fear of her life, to simply walk away and live her life without being abused.
Yet judging from the comments section of this story, the old “blame-the-victim” mentality is still alive and well. Many commenters stated that Ulmer is somehow to blame for making such a “poor choice” in dating the much older, black, married felon. OK, I agree – dating a felon is pretty dumb, and dating a married man isn’t exactly the path to happiness, but to imply that she deserved to be beaten and stabbed to death is ignorant, sexist, or both. She was trying to escape. She was playing by the rules. And all it got her was a violent death and condemnation for her “poor choices.”
Edit: Another local blogger and old friend, Richard S. Drake, has suggested creating a Domestic Abuser Registry. Read more here.
